Tag Archives: Oklahoma news

Never Save the Flowers for the Funerals

9 August 2012

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Bouquet of Flowers in a Vase

Bouquet of Flowers in a Vase (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear Reader,

I have an inbox of questions and will return to the normal format next week, but in light of recent circumstances, I wanted to address the area where many of our hearts and prayers have been focused.  We have shed tears for a family in our community that lost a precious son.  We have all watched in horror as people a state away went through a terrifying night to wake and realize that reality can be far worse than nightmares. One thing these types of tragedies do is make us stop and think about our loved ones. It’s easy in the hustle and bustle of life to forget that the amount of time we have to make a difference in the world is limited.

Michael Hyatt is an incredible motivational author and speaker. At a recent blogger conference, he led us through an exercise that left not a dry eye in the room.  He instructed us all to closed our eyes as he described a setting. He painted an elaborate picture of a beautiful room, adorned with incredible arrangements of freshly cut flowers, where everyone we loved and cared for were gathered, and dressed in their finest. All focus and attention was on one single thing, a shiny box at the front of the room.  Have you guessed it?  The setting was a funeral and the person of honor was each of us.  He then asked us questions pertaining to who would be in attendance, and what those people would say about us.

So I pose the same scenario to you, reader.  You may be able to plan the flowers, the music, and the speakers, but you will not be able pick what people will remember about you.  Those memories are earned, and the time to invest in them is now.  Michael Hyatt has a free e-book called “Creating Your Life Plan” at michaelhyatt.com/life-plan .  This interactive book walks you through the above exercise and helps you create a plan of action to make sure that you take time to achieve the things that really matter to you.

We cannot change the inevitable, but we can face it prepared. Knowing that we made the absolute most of our time here.  My dad, Wesley Brown used to always say, “Don’t save the flowers for the funerals.” Let’s try today to find a way to give ‘flowers’ to someone we know. Smile, encourage, buy a lunch, write a card, send a Facebook message, or actually send them a bouquet. Let people know what having them in your life has meant while it can actually make a difference. Then perhaps when it’s your turn and loved ones gather to remember you, it won’t be the blooms and colorful arrangements that bring tears to their eyes.  It will be the beautiful memory of you, and how you embraced each day and each person as a gift, choosing to never save the flowers for the funerals.

Just Smile and Wave Ladies

16 July 2012

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English: "The Dedusting Pump", later...

Dear Aimee,

I keep a decent house most of the time, but if there ever is a day when it looks like a tornado hit, that is the day my mother-in-law or someone from church will drop in.  Does this happen to anyone else?  How do some women seem to keep their lives in order all the time?

Elk City, OK

My mother-in-law may actually think that I asked this question.  She has experienced my house at its worst many more times than she has enjoyed it at its best.  There does seem to be a cruel physical law that draws people to your home on the day that you spent six hours organizing closets, but the kids had free rein on the kitchen and made a sheet tent in the living room.  If you are like me, you spout apologies and offer a tour of your newly well-organized utility closet because you need them to know you really are a decent housewife.

In my fifteen years of keeping house, I have learned that most people who have children understand the relentless war against clutter and have much sympathy for your plight.  We recently had a meeting at our house.  Let me rephrase that.  We recently hosted a small group gathering for which my husband gave me very short notice for. I snapped into military sergeant mode and the house was clean on the surface as the first guests arrived, but I still wasn’t sure that someone wouldn’t leave with a sucker stuck to the back of their pants. A lovely older couple was in attendance, and I muttered off a few preëmptive apologies for the state of my house as they made themselves at home.  She smiled so sweetly and said, “I had three of my own, dear. You don’t ever have to make excuses with me.  I know how impossible it is to keep a house with little ones running around.”  I exhaled, mentally kicked off my shoes, put my feet up on the coffee table, and realized that this woman was my new best friend.

I like what Julia Child said when asked about cooking for others. She said, “Never apologize and never make excuses.” I think this philosophy can trickle down to housekeeping as well.  There are many times that I may have never noticed a piece of torn wallpaper or a stain on the carpet if the host hadn’t pointed it out to explain first. Sparkling floors are nice, but they in no way compare to dazzling hospitality. It is important to give your family a clean sanitary home, and put a little pride into the little place on Earth you call your own.  But when it comes to impromptu guests, party invitees, and mother-in-laws; open the door wide, greet them with a smile, and serve them as the special guest they are, but do it without apologies or excuses.  After all, they did drop in unannounced and if this was a Dear Miss Manners column? She would definitely have a few things to say about that.

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“I got the moves like Jagger…” Really? You do?

27 April 2012

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A picture of a pair of Grado SR-60 headphones ...

A picture of a pair of Grado SR-60 headphones used to illustrate the design of "supra-aural" (on the ear) headphones in the article Headphones. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear Aimee,I feel the music my teen listens to is rude and inappropriate, but of course they disagree. Where do you draw the line on music and language in the home, and how do you enforce it?

One day my husband and I were riding in the car and he was singing along to a country song. He knew every word and seemed to be enjoying himself. I tuned in and noticed the lyrics were about this guy leaving his wife. I turned down the volume and asked him if there was some hidden message in his lively karaoke rendition. He just paused and stared at me quizzically. He had absolutely no idea what he had been singing about. After a few minutes, or hours, of me lecturing him on all the reasons why such lyrics are the source of all marriage degradation in the United States, he switched the station. I may have been a little dramatic, but my point is that many times songs slip into our playlists unchecked. Your teen may not have any idea of what the real message behind the tune may be. The best method I have found is to print out the lyrics and sit down for a heart to heart. This seems to garnish better results than a knee-jerk censorship. The goal is to help guide your teen to develop similar values as yours, and sometimes a calm, rational, and honest conversation actually works.

As for the language, I can appreciate how some words take a thought to the next level or up the intensity of a statement. My father called these “colorful” words, and I have been guilty of spicing up a phrase or two myself. However, I don’t want my kids’ opportunities in life to be limited by an untamed or offensive tongue. So I teach them that there is such a thing as vulgarity, and the strength by which others accept it varies greatly. Therefore, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and keep your public language clean. Listening regularly to music with harsh lyrics makes it easier for an un-choice word to slip out at an inopportune moment.

Lastly, filling your mind, life, and day with positive words can only be a good thing. There is so much negativity in the world we can’t control. I want the things my teens choose to invite into their day to be good and uplifting. That’s my rule, but they don’t always agree. So I will leave you with my last bit of empowering advice for when reasoning, explaining, and talking with your teen doesn’t seem to work. This is a phrase my own kids have come to know and love. “I am the queen, this is my castle, and my word is law. I may not be able to enforce the “off with your head” clause, but I certainly have the authority to execute your media devices anytime I wish. So let’s see some smiles and a little show of appreciation for the benevolent ruler that I am.”

The Plain Wife column appears in The Daily Elk Citian, The Cordell Beacon, The Tuttle Times, and makes cameo appearances in The Mustang Times, The Choctaw Times, and The Minco-Union City Times. Click the follow button at the bottom of the page to receive The Plain Wife by email. Thank you and Happy Reading!

Haters on the Highway

3 April 2012

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Traffic slows to a crawl on the Monash Freeway...

Traffic slows to a crawl on the Monash Freeway in Melbourne, Australia through peak hour traffic. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear Readers,March has inadvertently been a month of internet specials, my columns have included websites and various nuggets of wisdom I have gained from my regular net surfing. I will finish up this month with an anecdote that I found to be poignant and applicable. In the book Quitter by Jon Acuff, he addresses the topic of haters. Hate is a strong word. I was taught to use it only in the most extreme cases, like when talking about spiders and taxes. But in today’s vernacular, it’s more of a casual term addressing those who like to throw stones and focus on the negative aspects of a situation. We’ve all come across haters at some point in our lives. Whether it’s in the workplace, the home place, or our virtual places, negativity runs amuck. Jon Acuff is an author, motivational speaker, and has ninety-one thousand followers on Twitter. His enormous fan base constantly streams incredibly positive feedback about his book, speeches, and thoughts to his desktop. In a recent keynote address, he admitted that regardless of the ninety-one thousand fans, one negative comment, one critical statement, or one hater can derail his positive train of thought. Isn’t that the truth? No matter how many good things we hear throughout the day, it’s the criticism that keeps us company as we drift off to sleep at night. As most successful men, Jon has an incredibly wise wife. She asked him one day, “Why are you chasing haters on the highway?” He looked puzzled and asked her what she meant. “Well, Jon. Let’s say you are driving down the freeway and someone gets upset with the way you changed lanes. They zip past you, honk their horn, and give you the universal one-finger hater salute. It’s irritating, you might vent a little, but then you continue on your way. You don’t chase them down, follow them until they stop, and then knock on their window saying, “It seems you might not like me and the way I drive. That really bothers me. I was hoping we could have a little heart to heart and resolve the issue between us.” That would be insane and might get you shot.” This was an ah-ha moment for Jon and for me too. Why do we let people who are not in our inner circle of influence have such an impact. There will always be haters on the highway of life, but to spend too much energy or time trying to reconcile what might be petty and unreasonable demands will only distract us from our greater purpose. Be respectful, consider others feelings, tread gently through life, smile, nod, and let the haters fly on by. Making sure the next time a fellow driver’s lane change upsets you that you take careful measures to not be labeled a hater on the highway of life.

Aimee Jones is a small town newspaper columnist and aspiring novelist writing about surviving and thriving on the great plains of Oklahoma. You can receive The Plain Wife by email. Simply click the FOLLOW button at the bottom of the page. Thanks and happy reading!

Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead: My Juicing Inspiration

19 March 2012

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Extracting wheatgrass juice with a manual juic...

Extracting wheatgrass juice with a manual juicing machine. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One thing I have enjoyed about this column is passing along websites, apps, and great tips I have stumbled across in my days of internet surfing.  My most recent find comes from my husband.  He loves documentaries and even watches them while he works out.  You would find me snoozing on the treadmill with such riveting television, but I did indulge him one day and turned on a video called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  Sounds awful doesn’t it? Unfortunately in America the title describes a great number of our population. The film follows an overweight, middle-aged man, with many health disorders.  Under his doctor’s supervision, he begins a 60 day juice fast.  If you gasped and said, “No way!”, then you and I had the same reaction. His plan was extreme, but so were his results.  I’m not peddling the idea that we all need to go on a two month-long juice fast, and neither is the filmmaker.  But the claim he makes for including more micro-nutrients into your diet is hard to refute.  In fact, I have a juicer on order and am excited to incorporate it into my family’s daily regimen.  My middle son, the meat and potato lover, asked if he could put cooked steak into his shakes.  I told him not to rush things; there would be plenty of time for blended meats in his twilight years.

In my younger years, I didn’t really give a lot of thought to my health and diet practices.  If my goal was to lose weight, then I cut out meals and ate low-fat foods with little to zero nutritional value.  It was easy back then to get the desired results and I never thought about how my poor diet was affecting my overall health.

Today with shows like The Doctors, The Chew, and Dr. Oz, we have so much information at our disposal concerning health.  Just spend one day doing a little research about the damage a poor diet has on your body and you will be spending a lot more time in the produce section of your grocer.  My spring clean-up regime is broader than losing the ten pounds I accumulated during hibernation.  I’m prepared to make some big changes and the inspiration was the Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead movie.  It’s free on Netflix, or you can go to fatsickandnearlydead.com to find out more information.  It’s worth an hour or so of your time and if you put a couple of the ideas into practice, it might add a few years to your life.

Kiss my Bliss Goodbye

5 March 2012

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My first Bliss event and my first Bliss friends! One thing I realized is that most bloggers...are short.;)

Yes! It’s another Bliss post. In true Aimee Jones fashion, I am one of the stragglers just getting around to putting my fabulous weekend into words.

I could go on and on about the great new friendships, celebrity performances, and the incredible swag, but I will try to focus on the one thing that actually drove me to take action. Okay, two things.

The first was in the video interview with Jim Collins. He said, “Having enough creativity will never be your problem. The difficulty lies in having the discipline to focus the creativity.” This is so true for me. My current works in progress include a weekly question/answer newspaper column, an online serial romantic comedy, a speculative fiction novel, a romantic suspense novel, blog, Facebook posts, tweets, and I am dying to redecorate my home. These are all fabulous ideas, and respectable pursuits. I have much passion and enthusiasm for them all. The problem is that currently there is only one of me, and my creative right brain is stretched to its max. Jim proposed the cannonball vs. bullets metaphor. I am a sucker for a great word picture. He said that you wait for your small ideas, the bullets, to “hit” before throwing your big ammunition, the cannonballs, into battle. Meaning, look for where your creative projects are having the desired effect and focus your attention there, while tabling a few of the shot in the dark ideas for a rainy day. Seems like a very common sense kind of thing, but his speech was the nudge towards a more focused writing career that I needed.

The other revelation was the closing address by Catherine Connors. I have never been one to banner the phrase “Girl Power” or “Viva Womanhood”. I am very fond of being a woman, but I am also a fan of femininity. In the sense of allowing men to get the doors, kill spiders, and open pickle jars. As a stay at home mother, I haven’t had to fight for position in a corporation or struggle for equal opportunities in the work place. So when Catherine began speaking about the rising role of women in the blogging industry, I thought her speech might be going in a direction that I couldn’t exactly relate to. Oh how wrong I was. My realization was that I am part of an industry, and I am struggling for my voice to be heard. The amazing thing is that people are listening, and we are living in such an exciting time as women. We are putting ourselves out there, not in a tailored version of a man’s suit, stifling our emotion, and hiding behind a tough facade, but we are getting noticed by simply living out loud just as we are. The feelings, thoughts, and emotions attached to the very core of our feminine being, is the one thing drawing people to our words day in and day out. That and really great coupon deals apparently. We as women have found a way to personalize the incredible technology of today and turn it into a community. As with most things, it was simply lacking a woman’s touch.

So for the first time in my life, and with thanks to Catherine Connors…Viva Womanhood!

And with that, I will finally click publish and kiss this year’s Bliss goodbye…see ya next year!

Words for Sale!

16 February 2012

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This whole blogging, writing, and column business has been such a plunge into social media marketing 101. I thought I was a savvy woman because of an active Facebook page, but I now know that I am just touching the hem of the exquisiteness that is the fabric of social media.  The fabulous thing is that other more experienced bloggers will use their knowledge on the subject to attract traffic to their pages by sharing all they have learned. This has been the most helpful source of information. Everything from how to drive views, attract followers, and blogging do’s and don’t's.  I’m learning and it is transforming my business.  Now comes the hard part…my business is me. I’m selling my words. I have always said that I am no salesperson. I have passed on many stay-at-home opportunities, and self start businesses such as Arbonne, Mary Kay, and Scentsy. Love their products and use them regularly, but I am just an awful salesman.  So it’s ironic (actually I think it’s a law) that the one thing you despise the most becomes the only driving force towards your dreams.  Not only am I having to constantly peddle my wares on Facebook and Twitter, but I am polishing up, talking up, and presenting my own words for sale, which takes me severely out of my comfort zone! I share all of this for one reason, and that is to simply say, “I know.”  I know that when I write a post and say “Read Me!” that it seems pretentious, presumptuous, and arrogant.  That has always been my hang up with sales.  I hated presuming that someone needed, could afford, or wanted what I had to offer them. The handy thing about blogs is that they are free. They are only worth the time someone is willing to sit down and read them.  So my dear friend and reader, I may hock my wares on every street corner these days, but please know that it truly comes from a humble and grateful heart. God has created a passion in my being for communicating and I am actually finding out that when you truly believe in a product, that selling it isn’t that difficult. I promise to always try to make it worth your time. Thank you for following the blog.  Thank you for following on Twitter.  Thank you for being my dear sweet Facebook friend, and thank you always for reading my wares!  (In my new-found entrepreneurial spirit…click the link to hear my recent interview on KCLI Newstalk Radio.  It really explains my heart for starting the column and how it all began. Enjoy!)

Love Killed Him…How Romantic!

9 February 2012

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Valentine postcard, circa 1900–1910
Image via Wikipedia

Dear Aimee Jones,

I’m a guy and I don’t get Valentine’s Day.  Why is that day so important?  It’s too much pressure.  Wouldn’t it mean more to get flowers and chocolate out of the blue rather than because the calendar says it’s time?

Not Feeling the Love – Elk City, Oklahoma

Dear Reader,

Many women in my readership are looking at their husbands right now and accusing them of submitting this question.  Thankfully for you, the anonymity I provide to my sources just might save your relationship.  Most women do hold a special place in their hearts for Valentine’s Day.  I agree with your statement about getting things out of the blue, but I don’t think that ever should take the place of a special V-day surprise.  Men love to tease about how Valentine’s Day was invented by the greeting card companies to boost their sales.  The true history behind the day is a murky one, although it most definitely predates Hallmark.  One legend is that Valentine was a priest during the third century in Rome at a time when men were forbidden to marry and ordered to serve as soldiers instead.  Valentine disagreed with the mandate and continued to perform marriages in secret, eventually being put to death for his fight to preserve love.  Another legend is that Valentine helped Christian prisoners escape, but was eventually caught and sentenced to death.  During his imprisonment, he fell in love with the jailor’s daughter.  The night before his sentence was carried out; he managed to send her one last letter declaring his undying affection.  It was signed “From your Valentine.” Did you hear that? The collective sigh as women across western Oklahoma read the accounts of the legendary romantic hero?  The question isn’t whether or not you believe in Valentine’s Day. The question is does your significant other value a box of chocolates and a handmade heart-shaped doily card on the 14th of February?  Here’s a little tip that will take your relationship far in this life. If it’s important to her, make it important to you.  I will conclude with the thought-provoking words of a true pillar of wisdom, Joe Giudice from Real Housewives of New Jersey, “Happy wife, happy life.” Now go get out the construction paper, scissors, and a thesaurus and make your special lady smile this St. Valentine’s Day!

“Real Housewife of Western Oklahoma”

_The Daily Elk Citian_09 February 2012

_The Cordell Beacon_

The Secret only my sister knows…until now!

9 February 2012

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Dear Aimee Jones,

I have naturally curled hair like you. I have always dealt with frizz.  Do you have any secrets to share on taming curls? ~Frizzy in Clinton, OK

Dear Frizzy,

I want to warn my readers that today’s column is a slight departure from the norm, but how could I refuse to answer a fellow curly-haired sister in her time of need? So if by chance you are of the straight hair species, you might want to pass this column along to a friend who suffers from unruly naturally curled hair…I dealt with this for the first 14 years of my life, and still do on the rare occasion when my process gets interrupted.  I have to give props to the man who changed my life when it comes to my hair.  His name is Wayne, and he was the first real stylist my mom ever took me to.  Until then it had been whichever friend or family member had a sharp pair of scissors and a free afternoon.  Wayne took one look at me and said, “You don’t know how to deal with your curls do you?” I shook my head.  He was right.  I had even gotten a perm in an attempt to achieve the soft defined ringlets that I had longed for, but there I sat with hair sticking out every which way.  That day he passed along a secret that I am going to share with you.  (Professional hairdressers stop reading here) I have used every hair product known to man.  I have paid $65 for a toothpaste sized tube of shampoo guaranteed to smooth and condition.  I have tried oils, special conditioners, pomades, gels, and creams, and yet I always end up coming back to my old standby.  My secret to a refined curly coiffure, and the one set of products I cannot live without.  PANTENE.  I know! I know!  Hairdressers across western Oklahoma are cringing!   Yes, I am aware of the dangers…the harsh chemicals and the waxy build-up.  But as a religious Pantene user, I’m here to say that my hair must love harsh chemicals and waxy build-up!  I use the shampoo, conditioner, mousse, and the non-aerosol hairspray.  I do all my product application and scrunching while the hair is wet, and then I don’t touch it until it dries. It works for me and I am asked at least once a month what I use in my hair.  So dear frizzed in Clinton, it’s worth a try, and you won’t break the bank in the process.  If that doesn’t work, send me a message and I’ll see if I can’t look up good old Wayne for you. Oh, and if you happen to be of the straight variety, feel free to drop me an email and share your hair woes or secrets as well and I will pass them along on my blog.  We are an equal hair texture opportunity forum here.

 

 

 

#14 – EXECUTION! My new favorite word.

13 January 2012

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Dear Aimee,

New Years resolutions, did you make any?  Have you kept them?  Do you believe in them?  Any tips for not giving up?

Dear Reader,

I have received this question from multiple men and women since the turn of the year.  If you know me personally, then you understand the irony in asking me about such things.  Resolutions require self-discipline, and I do believe that if you examined a chart of my DNA structure, you would find that I am missing that particular gene.  However, in the spirit of the new year and wanting to encourage my readers, I did some extensive research on the topic and have come up with a plan that I think will work brilliantly for myself and maybe a few of you as well.  The first part of my resolution plan came from a website called myoneword.org.  The suggestion is in the title of the site, a one-word resolution.  One word that defines who you want to be this year, and one word that will remind you of an area in your life you would like to see growth.  There’s no check list, no measure of success or failure, just the intention to improve consciously in one area of your life this year.  That seems manageable, right?   Their website has numerous inspirational stories and advice that can help you decide what word might be right for you. The second part to the Aimee Jones Resolution Program comes from www.michaelhyatt.com.  Michael has many great books, articles, and blogs about planning your life and achieving your goals.  I liked his thoughts on keeping resolutions.  He suggests that along side whatever you resolve to do, that you also make a list of reasons as to why you chose that particular goal in the first place.  This list becomes your reminder.  When life starts to feel like it is intentionally plotting against your resolution to be more patient, you can look back at your page of inspiration.  For example, my word is going to be execution.  My inspiration page reads like this:  I want to be a woman who executes her duties this year in a timely and complete manner.  I want others to feel confident in trusting me with tasks.  I want my children to see that I am a doer and not a procrastinator.  I want to be more help to my husband by not always operating out of a constant state of running behind. I want to complete my responsibilities in 2012 right away, all the way, and with a joyful heart.  You get the picture.  Then when I start to fall back into my old ways, and think that making such a resolution was a silly idea, I can look back at some very serious and valid reasons as to why I need to stay the course.  I’m excited about my goal of prompt and complete execution.  I have  been entrusted with many responsibilities and they deserve my best. So dear readers, that is the Aimee Jones New Years Resolution plan.  I would love to hear what your goals and expectations are for 2012.  Visit me on Facebook or by email and share with me your new years resolution plan!