Securing the Borders
Do you think a married person should have friends of the opposite sex? I think if a relationship is strong then it will survive friends outside the marriage.
This reminds me of the movie When Harry Met Sally. Harry is convinced that it’s impossible for a man to have a female friend and not be attracted to her. Sally disagrees. Alas, in the end they…well I won’t spoil it for you. Watch and see.
I’ve been married for sixteen years. That’s just getting started in our neck of the plains, but in Hollywood, it’s like 114 years. Or maybe that’s my marriage in dog years, I’m not sure. I think they use the same factor. Anyhow, let me answer you with a couple questions of my own. Do you send a person who has sworn off carbs to the local donut shop? Do you ask a recovering alcoholic to tour a winery? Do you hire a former jewel thief to work security at Tiffany’s? I’m certain the answer to all of these questions is a resounding, “NO!” If you assume that because you are married and on a one-man or one-woman diet that you are above temptation, than you are setting yourself up for an epic failure. It has nothing to do with the strength of the marriage, but everything to do with knowing you are not infinitely strong. Even if your husband has the body of Channing Tatum and can turn a phrase like Shakespeare, there will be moments when he forgets his world revolves around you, leaving you feeling disappointed and unfulfilled. Enter the perfect opportunity for your ‘just a friend’ to start looking like a better option. It happens everyday. Marriages fall into the ditch, and many times there was an extra marital relationship in the works long before the vows were broken. That man or woman was eating their low carb bun-less burger outside the local Krispy Kreme. Reader, I don’t believe even Superman has the strength to turn down a maple Long John after eating nothing but protein for six days!
Marriage is beautiful, fulfilling, rewarding, and my best chance at a happily ever after, but it takes work and sometimes sacrifice. If doing without outside friendships is what it takes to make my marriage borders more secure, then it’s one offering I’m willing to burn. My spouse is definitely worth it, and I hope yours is too.