This Is How I Fight My Battles

It’s no secret we at The Edge Church are facing an unexpected obstacle these days. And the thing one is tempted to do in these times is to bring fire to the fight. To use words and bold actions and even at times the very Word of God to persuade an outcome to the way we desire. How many times do we see Christians in times of strife use Holy Scripture against their enemies? And in turn, their perceived enemy uses Scripture against them. The Words and Wisdom of God are cut, copied, and pasted to create a pedestal we stand on to shout our arguments to the hilltops. We were on the road when the realization we may lose kid space on Sundays began to settle in. I was in the car with our family, Randy was driving and on the phone, the kids were in the backseat, and I needed to find a quiet time with God because I felt my spirit losing control and my flesh and anger building. I grabbed my wool shawl and draped it over my head and told Randy, “I gotta get away a minute.” And in that dark and quiet place, as much as I wanted to pray for my will to be done, God brought me to a different prayer and it went like this, “Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24) My prayer focused on me, my heart, and my motives. And as promised, God answered, and I saw things in me that were not aligned with the Spirit who now lives within me. I confessed, I repented, and when I threw that shawl off my head, the fire in the pit of my stomach was gone. The anxiety clenching my chest wasn’t there. My problems hadn’t changed. No one had called to say things were on the up and up. We still had a large obstacle to overcome, and still do, but what I remembered then is the Truth I found today in the ancient Haggai writing, “My Spirit is among you. Don’t be afraid.” I just couldn’t see this truth when my heart was clouded with my own desires. And I don’t mean He is just with The Edge, or those who think like I do. His Spirit is here. It is among us all. And because of that truth, we have no need to fear, just a need to align with it. Yes, we speak up. Yes, we do our best to move the church forward. Yes, we stand firmly in the midst of a trial. But most importantly we stand in love and in alignment with the most gracious, holy, righteous, and wise Spirit who is among us— all of us. I just want to be in His will. And the only way I know to do that is to constantly allow God to search my heart. Want to pray a bold and brave prayer today? Give this one a try, and then don’t be afraid. His Spirit is with us, and for those who place their faith in Jesus, that very Spirit is alive inside us. No fear. Just faith. Happy praying, friends.

“Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”