I have a friend that is always having to talk about her life and her problems. I want to be a good friend, but she consumes so much of my time with negativity. I always offer her great advice, but she never seems to listen to me. How much can you give to others without starving yourself?
~ Needing Parasite Insight in Clinton, OK
I am going to tell you a little story about eyebrows. Yes, I am about to compare your friends to your eyebrows. If you really think about it, brows are a great metaphor for life. The well-groomed brow is all about shape, balance, and a willingness to endure the painful at times for the good of the whole…whether it’s by plucking, waxing, or in the most desperate situation, shaving. Why do we endure such torture? Because there are always those pesky hairs that will just never fit into the framework we are trying to maintain. In fact they throw everything out of whack and show up every week nagging for attention. (On a side note, it is always good to visit an eyebrow tech by referral. Going into such a thing on a whim could possibly lead to lying on a makeshift table, over a toilet, in a converted bathroom, listening to Kenny G play Gloria Estefan songs, with a woman who either has a strong opinion against facial hair, or she understood “just clean them up” as “just take them off”! Be picky about who touches your brows, ladies.) We all have those friends that show up like stray hairs. Seeking attention and throwing our lives off-balance. Their day is always filled with turmoil, and their crisis is always the worst that anyone has ever experienced. You talk yourself blue in the face trying to offer advice, and run out of resources trying to help. When in the end, they didn’t really want anyone to fix them. They just wanted their weekly pick and pluck. Someone to acknowledge they are there, lend a listening ear, and then send them on their way. Now the painful part comes in knowing that despite our best efforts, they will probably be there again next week…same time, same place, and possibly with the same problem. I have learned to identify these types and I no longer spend so much energy in solving their problems and worrying over their issues. I listen, smile, and nod. They walk away happy, and I walk away without feeling emotionally and physically drained. So dear friend, I’m sorry I can’t tell you a permanent way to keep those eyebrows in check or shave all the negativity out of your life. However, I can tell you that a well-balanced life is not always about eliminating obstacles, but just learning how to manage them well.
“The Real Housewife of Western Oklahoma”
_Daily Elk Citian_17 November 2011,
_Cordell Beacon_16 November 2011