Dirt Moving Friends

Dear Aimee,

I have had the same best friend since junior high.  We recently had a falling out and haven’t talked in two weeks.  I’m not sure how to start the conversation.  I want to move passed it, but I don’t know how to take the first step.

Friendship on the Rocks – Elk City, Oklahoma

I recently heard a psychologist on TV say that a woman needs eight different types of friendships to have a healthy and well-rounded social life. I guess I will be insufficient in that department seeing how I had to go change out the laundry after hearing the first three and will never know what the other five types of friends were. Personally, eight sounds a bit time-consuming.  I do agree with the first suggestion though; every woman needs a friend from their childhood.   There is nothing like sitting down and chatting with your longest and oldest friend who not only knows and loves you now, but understands everything in your past that made you that way. They have been with you through thick and thin and still choose to be at your side. I have a couple of these in my life, one of which is my sister. I affectionately call these my Help-Me-Bury-the-Body friends.  Of course that is a figure of speech, and there has never been, nor will there ever be, an occasion when I would ask my girlfriends to ruin their fresh manicures on such a task. However, the point of the metaphor is that they are there for me. Whatever I need, day or night, down the street, or a thousand miles in between; they are just a phone call away. If this is the type of friendship you are talking about, and it is a positive, healthy, give and take relationship that has just hit a small rough patch.  Then there is only one thing you can do. Get out the shovel, take your friend to the deepest, darkest, most secluded spot in the nearest woods, (wear gloves) and bury the hatchet.  The first step is to take responsibility and apologize for your part in the disagreement.  She may reciprocate and the friendship is mended right there on the spot, or it might take a little more time.  The important thing is that you have done all you can do to achieve peace, and there are no regrets on your part for things you should have said or done. Dear reader, friendship is an incredible gift to give and receive.  Not one of us is perfect and there are times that being our dearest friend is more of a trial than a pleasure. If you have found a friend in this lifetime that has known you through most of it and will love you through the rest of it, then that girl is worth her weight in humble apologies and generous forgiveness.

“The Real Housewife of Western Oklahoma”_The Daily Elk Citian_15 February 2012,

“Real Housewife of My Real Life”_Cordell Beacon_15 February 2012

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